Just get a card……and chocolates!

This is the umpteenth time I’ve tried to get this day’s thoughts down. I wanted to write about love and chocolates, hearts and angels and all that stuff that is appropriate as we get closer to Feb. 14th….well, you lovers know what day that is, right? Are you getting nervous?

Last year……I hope it was a deliriously happy day for you all. I hope it was Day One of a whole year of new love explorations.

I jotted down some poetry phrases which were to get me started in my own pre-14th ramblings about a particular love (of mine only, I learned!).  As I worked words and phrases into my thoughts,  and vice versa, the following came out of my pen.

Instead of succumbing to the old ‘think positive’ adage,  I pushed my assessing mind aside and let it spill out.

I wanted to write a ‘he said, she said’ piece and I began to see it as it really was…….

“What happens in life to have things change so fast,
From sun….to rain….to nothing, no future, no past?
Seeing an angel, though hearing not a sound,
my heart rejoiced….a precious jewel I’d found.

Being with her always, the dream filling my head
But she had her own life, in words she never said.
I saw heaven in her, finality not thought about,
Nor tending the wordless void, she preferred to live out.

A special life with her, my mind’s beautiful view
Yet here was someone……I guess I never knew.
Those moments we shared, engraved in my heart
On the stage of my life, she mimed every part.

To be around her, speaking soft words, hers not yet begun,
Talking, listening, I mistook ‘me’ for her ‘someone’.
Finally, I came, heart in hand, looking for that ‘we’
The hope I thought was there, wordless, she set me free.

I thought if she’d give me more than a glance
She’d see real love, even utter a phrase of chance.
I’d seen the depths of her, causing my heart to melt
There was a time I know, her very soul I felt.

As daytime, nighttime, I count the joys I had
Quietude erases the good, mind uncovers the bad.
Days go by, I’m reminded, words were never spun
Same scene each day, our ‘we’ still sounds like ‘none’.

Nothing to do but sit, feeling so very alone
Waiting and hoping, knowing my dreams have flown.
Wishing I could try anew to make her see I care
Um…..
Oh hell…..speak! Is anyone really in there?”

I’ll start some new thoughts in a day or so!
New thoughts….that’s what matters!

Rich