As we approach the ‘peace on earth’ season this time each year I notice that there is a relaxing of the strict boundaries or ‘personal space’ that many people seem to possess. At least it appears that this is the case. Why is it? Perhaps it is that we seem to give permission for some kind of extra closeness, more than the usual. Yeah, I think it is all about permission.
I love to hug…being freed up to make a big, life-altering game of it has transformed my life. It has also caused a few little glitches!
Personal boundaries are a tough situation to deal with…..we weren’t born with them but we defend them, sometimes to the death. And sometimes they cause a kind of death even while we live. And all of this, even while we argue for the implications of NOT having our protected boundaries.
There seem to be unwritten restrictions on who you can hug, and you must somehow figure out what they are or suffer a smack upside the head!
Ever had a dear friend that kept you at a distance, suggesting there needs to be some kind of mutually agreed on, invisible barrier that you mustn’t step over? I have. It’s like a huge gap or void in the friendship…..it rips at the heart because the soul longs for vulnerability to be truly expressed. Seems that the best you can do is stand at the far edge of that protected territory, as a compassionate friend, wondering what is wrong.
When do we stop hugging our children? We say it is when they stop wanting to be hugged but I think we adults get embarrassed to hug older children. That is just an observation…..I don’t know for sure.
I think we need to wear some kind of pin that suggests ‘available to be hugged’. Heck, a good start might be ‘available to say hello to’. That would really matter to us huggers!
Oh, and hugging is healing. Ask your doctor if hugging is right for you!
Rich
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