Is there life after dearth?

What a crazy weekend! So many notable folks passing these past days. Made me stop and spend some time ‘introspecting’ my own life.

With the gnawing sense that something might be missing there (I’m actually being told that….I didn’t figure it out for myself), I paid more attention to the TV ads this weekend. After all, aren’t those producers interested in my experiencing the good life….the best that I can be?

To fully experience my life, I am told (again and again) that I need to drink certain beers….(this is of some temporary concern, since the ‘lime’ beers are presently fighting in court over ‘rights’ of some kind and I won’t know which will be my ‘road to the perfect life’ until they’ve settled)…..and if I shave with specific razors….and use strange body scenting formulas…..and drive cars from a particular list…..and splash up and down in exotic pools….oops, that’s due to the good fortune of correct investing, and on and on and on and……

Hey, don’t forget the thought of having toxins injected into my wrinkles…..as the way towards living an authentic, exciting life. Rats, I’d have to find a wholesaler to rid me of my wrinkles!

So, now I’m watching the news reports very closely to see which of these formulae, for those who have recently passed on, was the answer to them having lived their reportedly notable lives…and find out that so far, they’re not revealing any of those secrets!

And the more I watch to see what the secrets were, the more I’m exposed to more ‘answers’ to my life…..and my credit card can only carry so much of this enlightenment!

Oh, I forgot….they’re also offering me more and more credit cards (with the newer revised high rates)!

Does this mean I have to play it all randomly? What if I use the cologne and also buy the car? Might that improve my odds of hitting it right? (At my age, it probably would!)

Or I could add some beer and chew the new gums. I hear the new gums are quite magnetic. Maybe even fill my pockets with assorted candy bars that replace hunger! Hunger? Now I remember….when I was getting interviewed for that CEO position, my mind was wandering because…..you’re right! No candy bars in my pocket! I was hungry!

But then I also have to use the advertised diet plans…..rats, how can I ever realize my true life when there are so many things I might overlook…and therefore risk missing my life by a mere fraction…..maybe a glass of the correct wine, or perhaps forgetting to ask my doctor if some drug was right for me?

I’m not saying anything about all the individual ‘heroes’ that are shown solving life problems with the right burger or pizza choice….I had a couple burgers this weekend and they sure seemed to solve mine, deliciously!

Just when it seems I’m getting the ‘answers’ down pat (however, I’m thinking of exchanging the beer for a coffee liqueur….looks like a better class of ‘real life’ people to me)…..I pick up a book and discover that it’s all about something entirely different. Darn! I’m now told it’s about having the right ‘faith’ and passing laws so others adapt to that ‘faith.’

But by now I have so much ‘faith’ that it’s all about the candy or the car or the mouth wash or the drugs which I am still researching for myself, (to save my doctor the hassle of doing so…..he surely doesn’t need them, he already has the big house and the fancy car and the vacations…..his life must be incredibly meaningful!) that I find myself trending towards doing what a lot of others are doing….sitting in a bathtub of nice warm water and plugging in the feeding tubes!

I think I’ll set my life planning program aside and take a slow breath…..nah, maybe take a nap instead! Hmm. Turn them all off. That might matter!

Rich