Peaceful evening, a glass of wine, soft music in the background (Lakota Piano by Brule) ……the whole world of commerce will have to mind itself and carry on, for the rest of today at least, without my opinions, evaluations and the investments I pretend to make……my mind slowly slipping into deeper thoughts (at least that was my intention)….scattered bits and pieces about nothing in particular.
In spite of that ‘nothing in particular,’ there’s the eternally intrusive little chit-chat that elbows its way into my meditations. Opinions. Yeah, I know they are mostly all just opinions, demanding a reaffirmation of the vote I gave them, yesterday.
But just maybe, if it’s not all that way, what about the stuff that’s left over after I’ve run out of opinions……what is that? It both scares me and excites me. It could be where some new meaning for myself and my life resides, and I’m not sure I’m ready to test the meaning I’ve already assigned to my today……for some undefined ‘other’ meaning. I need to ask “Exactly for what, is it that you want me to give up my opinions?” Did I detect a bit of positionality there? Maybe, just a wee bit.
To immediately throw one ‘opinion’ (see what I mean?) into the mix, maybe we need to ‘get’ (not necessarily to understand) that our existence in this life isn’t all about some kind of ‘strategy’. It may be much more benign than that.
So much of my life has been about trying to manipulate what I ‘should’ be doing, into what I would secretly love to be doing! Imagine betting all one’s hopes and dreams on an opinion, especially if it’s someone else’s ‘should’ that I’ve adopted! Ouch!
So, if I may have an opinion about that piece, my opinion is that we might do well to inject, authentically, and with more intensity, the distinction ‘opinion’ into our everyday communication…..as an addendum.
It sure takes the seriousness away (for me, anyway) and allows a bit more elbow room. More importantly, it might allow for a more open, receptive tone in our conversations. Hey, I like that! But, dammit, don’t do it as a strategy!
I am of the notion that the Universe does not always need our attempts to translate everything into common verbiage that we then call ‘the truth.’ It asks for tone or hue only, just enough to entice us to step towards what we don’t yet understand. In seeking understanding, we try to attach meaning….and since there is no obvious meaning, we usually look into our minds for answers.
That’s where the mischief begins! If I try to explain with my mind, aren’t I using my mind to figure out my mind?
Look at some of the books on my shelf. They are filled with conscious minds trying to decipher or interpret our unconscious minds. (And never mind the thought that if it’s unconscious, how the heck do we know it’s there?) Can you see what is not being noticed in that whole exercise? There is nothing there until we put it there so we are merely explaining what we already know. Now what?
This may mean we must ask some serious questions, or conversely, not take any questions seriously.
Maybe we need to ask real questions about the life that all those well-meaning folks are designing for us? Why do they do that?
Maybe there is only to live the life that is waiting to be fully expressed, already coded in our souls? How do I remember it, if I have forgotten?
Why do I find myself questioning those urgings that seem to come from a deep inner passion? In other words, why do I reject my own life? Or maybe, who taught me to reject it?
Is it because, as a ‘great communal thought,’ it may flounder as it seeks its place on the stage of real life?
Is it because it may look quite ridiculous in its beginning, as it searches for some kind of ground from which I might live?
“Ah, Passion, where is my lot?
Where have you gone? Tell me…
Where’s the memory of that life
I once sought?
Are you no longer near? I was…
Reaching for you too carefully, with arms…
Not wholly mine…..so incomplete…
Where are those dreams,
Once so close..
So sweet?
Ah, Passion, you are…
My wholeness, urging softly….
Are you no longer listening?
Are you no longer playing my game
Of living a life….
Too tame?
I seem to remember a joy….those times..
Our paths seemed to meet
In accidental embrace. Oh why….
Is your guidance now hidden from my face?
Oh Passion, why can you no longer hear? Or…..
is it me?”
I’m of the further opinion that it’s never too late to engage our Passion and have today be a beginning. “At my age?” you ask. “Well, if you didn’t start today, how old would you be?”
And it might matter that we take the time to seek out partners, those who see what we cannot see…..those who will be there for us when we step out from the sidelines and onto the playing field! You see, there must come a time when we need to take that true step, into the life we are silently designing but hesitate to live……the life that really matters….to each of us. Well, that’s enough opinions for today!
Rich