Today, I feel I must say something……well, don’t we all!…..as sort of a ‘drive by’ commentary. Hit the ‘publish’ key and run for the hills! I guess this might be called climbing out onto the skinny branches, if it wasn’t for the ‘running for the hills’ part. Nevertheless, since it is part of my chit-chat with friends, here goes……
Over the past few days there seems to have been an inordinate amount of focus on ‘happiness’ or ‘unhappiness’ in the world, in particular as polls refer to the unhappiness of women. I suppose it’s because a new book has just come out (male author) suggesting that ‘research has determined’ that women are no happier than they were years ago, even though more have been ‘allowed’ to make gains on the corporate ladder. This has been corroborated on a few talk shows since.
Oh, and ‘other studies suggest’ that men report being happier than they were a few years ago.
Hmm. Kinda strange. I am never happy when my lady is unhappy.
There is one more preparatory comment I want to add into the mix…..it is this thing called, ‘studies show that…..’
An awful lot of that going around these days. So, to get on my own bandwagon, my remarks are a result of, ‘studies show that…..’ (whatever I am about to say).
Oh, and I do not watch daytime television where the experts are doling out all the ‘answers’ to life questions. So, if the world is the scoreboard……are we winning or losing?
Which brings me to the last part of my pre-amble…….if you listen closely, you will notice that folks who have the answer, also have well-prepared reasons why their ‘answers’ aren’t working.
And if you listen a little closer yet, you’ll notice that most of the energy in the discussion is focused on the reasons why no one is accepting the ‘answers.’ Seems that there is a lot of pseudo-psychology happening.
It is interesting that the ‘studies’ and their solutions are economic, with a side note about the ‘duties’ of raising a family. Then there is blah, blah, blah, about suffering for some religion, and women being happier staying at home, etc. Doesn’t that sound like grasping for straws in trying to build a case?
Once again, I have no solutions and certainly have a few observations.
First, hasn’t anyone become suspicious of the polls? Here’s a clue…created by men, or you are asking men how they feel!
I remember reading about a deep thinker who concluded that we humans, when asked to introspect, usually respond with how we believe our life ‘should be,’ as if that is how it actually is. That’s interesting.
When I wrote this posting, <https://richmatters.com/?p=305>
I was inferring that we do not need to defend ourselves by gender in what things we are up to. It is okay to be who we are, doing what we love.
As an aside, it was a University Professor of social studies who said we should ‘just be aware that the study of ‘happiness’ is a growth industry….makes for light conversation and reading.’ Hey, let’s not forget to mention the ‘industry’ part that includes selling a whack of stuff in order to take advantage of any sense of unhappiness we are trying to overcome.
What kinds of questions would provide a different slant to the polls? As in our schools, that’s the difference between multiple choice and essay-type answers. Notice how the polling questions never seem to quite get at the issue and you feel you can’t give your best response?
In asking gender questions you gotta make sure the responders aren’t attempting to be noble and answer on behalf of the whole gender, as in ‘this is what all of us want for equality,’ whatever that is.
Happiness, as a ‘concept’, is hard to grasp. It’s here today and gone tomorrow. It’s even harder to look at as ‘context’.
So…..
I am happy until I step onto my bathroom scales in the morning….now my whole day is ruined.
I am happy until my mate makes a bad move, or rejects me…..now my life is over.
I am happy until the monthly bills arrive…..now my holiday plans are ruined.
I want my kids to go to college, but my present job is inadequate….so I have failed as a parent.
I am happy when the pretty gal next door gives me a smile….but unhappy because I’m not available.
See the dilemma in nailing ‘happiness’ down?
Then when you get to my age, happiness is when the fibre is doing its job!
Happiness is being able to kick a soccer ball with the grandkids for more than 5 minutes.
Losing the remote for the TV, now that would be unhappiness!
I could go on, but you get my drift……happiness appears to be relative. Or you have to specify the areas you are questioning about the concept…..and none of us are happy in all of them.
Most of the voting on happiness seems to be about what would be the best future for my life…..and we compare that to today and voila! Happiness or unhappiness is today’s expectation, so we are unhappy about our future expectations, which translates into today’s polling results. Good material for a book, I suppose, but what are we not noticing?
We are usually unhappy and stressed about stuff that may never happen because we are making it all up!
I keep hearing folks being advised to ‘be the best that you can be and you will be happy’. ….what is that ‘best’? Is having several letters behind your name better than a painter? It has us be better noticed, so it must be so…..even if I’d love to be a painter, or a musician, or a gardener, maybe live in the quiet countryside. There’s the real dilemma for our lives!
Although one can be successful applying his ‘skills’ where there is good bucks to be made in the marketplace, most people live their lives silently wishing they could be sure about what they suspect…that what really is their ‘calling’ goes mainly untested, unexplored, and this is unnoticed in responding to the polls.
Being authentic/honest about what we would love to do, if money wasn’t the issue…that little insight would matter a whole bunch!
Rich