Ever get the feeling that someone is trying to dump a dose of guilt into our life? I mean besides all our own attempts? Happening a bit more as I get older, into ‘the twilight times’ of my life, it has been referred to, when others are beginning to talk to me about their mortality and ‘what has it all been about?’ I am noticing that it is also about questioning what we have been taught to believe, or have faith in.
In my life, attempts at stirring up guilt is done to me in a subtle fashion, if I listen closely to TV, my community, religion, friends, and many books. On the surface, it is supposed to appear like advice. Often it is innuendo and includes everyone with the same broad brush stroke. And it is almost always about something that may or may not have happened somewhere in the past, something already fading from memory.
What is that guilt and conscience stuff my friends are asking me if I have a handle on? My first reaction is to hint that it has all been made up, we don’t know who made it up, and it has such power over us simply because we have no access to it as truth. But that’s the simpler perspective.
Why do our consciences bother us so much anyway? When I look at it, ‘conscience’ has little to do with me personally. So many other folks fill my head (sometimes successfully) with advice about how I am supposed to live my life, and for some strange reason I have thoughts that they may know better than I.
That makes for a mess of stress if I let it get away from me, and unfortunately, it often does. At times there is pain, and I am noticing that the pain depends on how much I have let the power of their advice suppress my own life.
In the middle of all of this, I am then told that everything is someone’s ‘will’ and we should let ‘thy will be done.’ Good grief! I can just hear the creator say to herself, “My will? Are you kidding? Take another look around you and ask yourself if you think all that is my will! Nope, it’s your will, buddy!”
Hmm. Anyway, since I have now gotten someone’s attention ‘up there’ today, maybe I should get a few other things straightened out. So I need to ‘ask whoever is out there’ and listen for answers. I have my notepad in hand so as not to miss the good stuff.
“What about life lessons?” I seem to hear myself asking. That’s always a good one so I am expecting some great advice.
“Yeah, there are lessons that can be learned if you want to look at things that way, but that’s your own idea. And I have no advice! The thing is, I am NOT laying ‘a life of testing’ on you. Go change your life if you don’t like it. Or mine the gold from the one you are born into.”
Well, okay but everyone says there are lessons……
Maybe I could slip in a question that has been flooding the networks these days……’why do relationships falter so badly? Surely there must be lessons there?’
“Relationships falter because you make them mean so much! You call them divinely joined events and not to be ‘put asunder.’ Say what? You pick a mate because of a body shape, or a sense of humor and suggest this is divine selection? You then suggest I joined them together ‘til death’? Are you kidding me? Heck, I am more compassionate than that, and I see ‘asunder’ written all over your way of choosing! Stop laying this stuff on me. Can’t you see I’m busy answering the prayers of professional athletes? Besides, I’ve just been requested to stop an oil leak! And I’m just a bit miffed because I heard someone suggest that all this was ‘my will, or my plan.’ ”
You know, I was gonna ask for a bit of guidance for a bigger writing project of mine, but I can see where all this ‘asking’ is going, so maybe I’ll just start writing on my own. Perhaps what matters most is what comes from my pen and not from someone’s that I ask to write for me.
Rich